


Chicago

by Tex



Category: due South
Genre: Canada baby, Diefenbaker - Freeform, M/M, Post Call of the wild
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:40:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21634543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tex/pseuds/Tex
Summary: Post CotW - In Canada, Ray and Fraser share one night together. Then, they go back home to Chicago and try to deal with it.
Relationships: Benton Fraser/Ray Kowalski
Comments: 4
Kudos: 53





	Chicago

**Author's Note:**

> Previously posted to ds_sekritsanta, 2007.

Fraser looked at his watch and realized he had been staring at the same blank space in the same half-complete 20387Z form for over ten minutes now. He shook his head and resettled himself, appalled by his lack of focus, when Dief gave a sarcastic woof from the corner.

Fraser looked up with a glare. “Well, aren’t you full of wisdom today? I’m well aware of the source of my lack of concentration, but thank you for stating the obvious. Again.”

Dief set his head down on his crossed paws, whining and watching him with a combination of mockery and pity. “I think you expect too much of human beings. The lines that divide us are more sharply defined, whereas in the animal world, solutions are more easily obtained.”

Diefenbaker got up and walked out while he was still speaking. “You see what I mean?” Fraser called out after him.

Once he was alone again, Fraser absently twirled his pen, his thoughts returning to where they had been all day.

> _The Taiga Inn had one room available when Ray and Fraser stumbled into the lobby. On the up side, it had a private bath and kitchenette. On the down side, it had only one double bed._
> 
> _“Fraser, who cares?” Ray had said when the desk clerk delivered the news. “I’m so tired I could probably sleep standing up. We’ve been practically sleeping on top of each other in a tent for the past two months. Take the room.”_

Fraser went into the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face in an attempt to shock his system back into normalcy. Since his return to Chicago, he had been suffering from insomnia, getting no better than three, sometimes four hours of sleep a night.

Fraser dried his face and looked into the mirror over the sink. He caught himself thinking about that phone-booth sized bathroom he and Ray had shared in Norman Wells, the night before their return to Chicago.

> _The hotel took pride in being one that was completely environmentally friendly and Ray had taken issue with the low flow showerhead. He had gone on a minor Canada vs. United States tirade, extolling the virtues of showerheads the size of frying pans, his mouth full of toothpaste. Later, when Fraser had kissed him, Ray had tasted of cool mint._

It was an uncharacteristically quiet day at the Consulate, what with Inspector Wallace out of town and Constable McPherson taking a personal day. Fraser was grateful for the change of pace for he was in entirely the wrong frame of mind to be of help to anyone.

He did manage to buckle down and finish the requisitions for the Consulate’s quarterly supply of toilet paper. Around noon, Fraser prepared some bark tea and sat in the kitchen with Dief, grateful for the company even though he was forced to rebuff Dief’s offers to intervene on his behalf.

“I’m very touched by your desire to help, but this is something I’ll have see through on my own.” Diefenbaker heaved a melodramatic sigh and rolled onto his side.

“Comparing me to a bull in a china chop is somewhat below the belt,” Fraser replied with a frown. “When you get a stomach ache from eating too many blueberry tarts, I don’t say, ‘I told you so,’ do I?”

Dief growled. “Yes, I suppose I do but this is entirely different. The concept of kicking one’s companion when he is down is one I think you should look into.”

Once he cleaned up his dishes, Fraser went back to his office and gave a long, accusatory look at the telephone. Perhaps I should call Ray. Certainly, there was nothing stopping him from doing so. But Fraser looked away and the phone stayed silent.

> _“You know what I missed the most?”_
> 
> _Stretched out on his back, Fraser looked up at Ray. Fraser had chosen the left side of the bed, which was the same side he had occupied in their tent. He looked at Ray, his blond hair still damp and his face newly shaven and felt his heart lift up in his chest._
> 
> _“TV. Sports, to be exact. It’s baseball season at home but you wouldn’t know that up here.” Ray smiled at Fraser. “Hey, you listening to me?”_
> 
> _Fraser didn’t answer Ray. He reached out with one hand and grabbed the bottom of Ray’s thermal shirt and yanked hard. Ray pitched forward and landed with his hands braced on Fraser’s chest. And before either of them could voice the insanity of what they were about to do, Fraser grabbed Ray’s head and kissed him. ___

Fraser licked the corner of his mouth and closed his eyes briefly, wishing away this unbearable heat that simmered under his skin. He reached down and adjusted himself, the brief touch making his cock twitch.  


__Fraser groaned softly and let his head drop back, making his desk chair emit a squeak with the motion. Ray was his best friend, the best friend Fraser had ever had. Fraser couldn’t lose that, even if it meant that he’d never touch Ray again._ _

__Touch Ray. Touch Ray. The words were a hopeful litany in his head. Fraser could do it. He had done it before._ _

__The next time Ray picked him up at the Consulate, Fraser could pull Ray inside and push him against the wall and kiss him and Ray would let him. Ray’s tongue would slide against his and in no time, they would be panting and grinding against each other. They didn’t have to debate or speculate anymore. They had crossed that line. It all was possible.__

> _Ray wrapped his arms around Fraser’s thighs. Fraser squirmed when he felt the head of Ray’s cock press against him and slide past the tight ring of muscle. Fraser couldn’t take his eyes off Ray. He was so beautiful._
> 
> _“Oh, Jesus, this is good,” Ray said, his voice strained and raw. He looked down at Fraser, breathing hard. “You sure about this?"_
> 
> __
> 
> __
> 
> _Fraser grabbed onto Ray’s shoulders, trying to get closer. “Do I look sure, Ray?”_
> 
> _Ray made a growling sound in his throat. “You look like porn, that’s what you look like,” Ray said, moving his hips and sliding all the way in._

  


Fraser squeezed his erection through his trousers, feeling his whole body tingle and thrum with longing. God, it had been so long. Three months. Three long months of watching and longing and needing. As hard as Fraser tried to resist them, sometimes the memories just overwhelmed him. The sensation of Ray’s hands skimming over Fraser’s stomach. Ray’s thighs locked around him. The sound Ray made as he thrust into Fraser. Sometimes, it felt like it had all happened to someone else. 

> _Fraser woke up alone, sticky and overly warm. He was relatively confident that Ray hadn’t left town but that didn’t quell the urgency in his movements when he got himself cleaned up and dressed._
> 
> _He found Ray in the hotel restaurant, hunched over a steaming cup of coffee. His shoulders were drawn up, as if he thought he could hide behind them but Fraser had no trouble finding him._
> 
> _“Good morning.” It had to be his vivid imagination that made Ray’s lips appear swollen and red because they hadn’t – well, done anything in the past three hours. On second thought, Fraser realized it was closer to two and a half hours. Fraser had awakened during the night to find his cock in Ray’s mouth so perhaps it was not his imagination after all._
> 
> _“Fraser, knock it off.”_
> 
> __
> 
> __
> 
> _Fraser started, hardly able to hear Ray’s voice over his pulse pounding in his ears. “What do you mean, Ray?”_
> 
> __
> 
> __
> 
> _Ray’s face was flushed, possibly a little angry. “Stop looking at me like that.”_
> 
> _Fraser cleared his throat and shifted in chair, his cock getting hard yet again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize – I’m sorry.”_
> 
> _After another sip of his coffee, Ray set the cup down on the saucer clumsily enough that it rattled loudly in the nearly deserted restaurant. “Fraser, I – I don’t know what the fuck we’re doing. I mean, do you? Because, after all - you started it.”_
> 
> _Fraser’s spine stiffened at the accusation in Ray’s words. He leaned forward. “I don’t seem to recall you having a gun at your head,” Fraser declared in an undertone._
> 
> _“You kissed me,” Ray hissed back._
> 
> _“Yes, and you fought me so valiantly!”_

__

__

A series of prank calls entertained Fraser between the hours of one and three. Unfortunately, it was not until almost half past two that it dawned on Fraser that the multiple inquiries into what maple syrup was made of and the weight of a caribou at birth and something about Prince Albert in a can were, in fact, not serious ones. He supposed that the giggling in the background should have tipped him off.  


It was the kind of thing that would have made Ray shake his head and mutter “Freak” under his breath and then soothe any sting from the word by giving him a slow, warm smile. Without being aware of it, Fraser touched his mouth, dragging his thumb hard against his bottom lip.

Diefenbaker got up on his paws and barked sharply. 

“Oh, shut up,” Fraser muttered.

> __
> 
> __
> 
> _They shared a cab from O’Hare and spent the entire time doing what they had done on the airplane from Norman Wells to Edmonton, from Edmonton to Toronto and from Toronto to Chicago, which was to avoid looking at each other._
> 
> _Ray muttered to himself now and again but Fraser couldn’t make out his words. Besides, they had pretty much exhausted all conversation before they left Canada. They were still partners; that much they had agreed on. They were still friends. Again there had been no argument on that point. But the kissing and the fondling and the rest of it – they had both agreed that that wouldn’t happen again._
> 
> _“Fraser, it won’t work. We’re on the same page there, right?”_
> 
> _“Oh – the same page, absolutely, Ray. It would be very, uh, difficult to maintain a professional relationship while we were engaged in a – well…”_
> 
> _“All right, then. Good. That’s settled. Because if there’s any doubt in your mind that we’re not doing the right thing, then, let’s discuss it.”_
> 
> _“You believe we’re doing the right thing. Don’t you?”_
> 
> _“Fraser, think about it. You and me, we’re – you’re my best friend. I don’t want to do anything to mess that up.”_
> 
> _“Neither do I. Our friendship is very important to me.”_
> 
> _“Me, too. And I’m just thinking that being best friends and having hot sex every night probably won’t work for us.”_
> 
> _“Without a d… D-did you say every night?”_

__  


Something woke him. He awoke slowly, feeling disoriented. He vaguely recalled showering and stretching out on his cot for a moment. It felt like he had only just closed his eyes but the window above his cot was dark. According to his watch, it was nearly 10 o’clock – over three hours had passed and, he realized, there was someone pounding on the front door. Dief was out in the hallway, barking excitedly as Fraser stumbled to his feet.

__But before Fraser could reach it, the heavy door swung open and Ray rushed in, his hand reaching for his holstered sidearm, his eyes wide and alert. Instinctively, Fraser froze in his tracks and Ray relaxed. Sort of._ _

__

__

__“Dammit, Fraser, why didn’t you answer me? I thought – why didn’t you answer?” Ray shouted, impatiently pushing Dief’s enthusiastic greeting away. Dief huffed indignantly and trotted away.__

____

____

__Fraser’s pulse slowed to a more normal rate. “I was taking a nap,” he said, his tongue feeling thick and clumsy in his mouth.__

____

____

__“Haven’t you heard the phone? I’ve been calling every fifteen minutes for the last hour.” Ray shut the door with a backwards kick and walked toward him. “You’re sick, aren’t you? The other day, when you didn’t come to the precinct, I thought you were just avoiding me, but now …” Ray’s mouth tightened into a grim line. “Go get some shoes on; I’m taking you to the emergency room.”__

____

____

__Despite still feeling fuzzyheaded from his unexpected nap, Fraser was warmed by Ray’s show of concern. “Ray, there’s no need for that.”__

____

____

__“Don’t argue with me,” Ray returned fiercely. “You never take naps. Now get your shoes!”__

____

____

__Ray’s agitation seemed to grow, filling the entry hall with his restive energy. To rein him in, Fraser grabbed Ray by the upper arms and pulled him in closer. “Ray, listen to me. I’m fine. I’ve been asleep for three hours. I’m a bit on the muzzy side, but I’m otherwise fine.”_ _

__

__

__A beat of time passed and gradually, Fraser could see the alarm fade from Ray’s eyes. “Muzzy, huh?”_ _

__

__

__Fraser smiled at him. “That’s the medical term.”__

____

____

__Ray grinned back and for a moment, it was like nothing had changed. But almost immediately, they realized how close they were standing to each other and Fraser released Ray. Ray took a couple of steps back, staring at the floor.__

____

____

__“Listen, Fraser…”__

____

____

__“Ray, I want…” They both started talking at once and then, each of them went silent._ _

__

__

__A sense of helplessness overwhelmed Fraser. It seemed that all their conversations lately were laced in this awkward tension. Ray was standing right there and they’d spent almost every day of the last three months together. But he had never missed Ray as much as he did right now._ _

__

__

__“Go ahead. What were you going to say?” Please. Say something._ _

__

__

__Ray rubbed at his forehead, not meeting Fraser’s eyes. “I, um, I wanted to tell you about some stuff. About the – uh, Webster case. But first, could I get some water? I’m really dry.”_ _

__

__

__The case. Of course. Fraser released a resigned sigh. “Yes. Let’s go into the kitchen.”_ _

__

__

__Fraser moved around the kitchen, getting a glass and filling it with ice and water, very much aware of Ray leaning back against the work island, watching him. When he handed the glass to Ray, their fingers touched for the briefest moment but Fraser could feel the burn of contact right down to his groin. “Thanks,” Ray said, his voice a little rough._ _

__

__

__He nodded, saying nothing, waiting for Ray to drink his fill. Fraser let his gaze wander, from the inviting hollow at the base of Ray’s neck to his long throat before he realized what he was doing._ _

__“So you’re okay? You swear?”_ _

__Fraser only waved his hand impatiently and crossed his arms across his chest. “Ray, enough. You wanted to tell me about the Webster case?”_ _

__Only after glaring at him for a while did Ray appear to, reluctantly, let it go. “Yeah, fine, the Webster case. The Webster case that you and me did all those hours of work on? Well, it’s gone.”_ _

__“Gone?”_ _

__“The feds took it, every file, every note, every crumb. They want Webster to testify against his mother so they want to keep him in their custody until the trial.”_ _

__Fraser frowned. “I suppose we have to look to the bigger picture, don’t we?”_ _

__“No, we do not have to look at it in any way except the way that it is, which is we did all the work and now, the FBI’s gonna come in and take credit for everything. And that sucks, Fraser, it really sucks.”_ _

__“You’re right, Ray. It really does suck.”_ _

__“Yeah.”_ _

__Again, that tense silence cropped up between them, unwinding like a spool of fine thread. Fraser stared down at Ray’s scuffed black boots and the frayed ends of his jeans, trying to keep his mind clear of conflicting emotions._ _

__“Fraser? Hey, eyes up here.”_ _

__“Yes?” It was an automatic response, carefully blank._ _

__Ray tilted his head at him. “We’re fucking this thing up. You know that, right?” he asked softly._ _

__Fraser knew exactly what Ray was referring to – he didn’t bother to pretend ignorance. “I know that.”_ _

__“So what are we going to do about it?” Ray was leaning against the island, holding on to the countertop with his knuckles showing white._ _

__Fraser combed his eyebrow with his thumb. “The way I see it, we have only two choices.”_ _

__“Okay, let’s hear them.”_ _

__“We’re only human, after all.”_ _

__“Yeah? And?”_ _

__“It’s impossible to un-ring a bell, Ray.”_ _

__Ray straightened and stared at him, his expression looking pinched. Then, he put his hands over his face, rubbing hard. “Fraser,” Ray his muffled voice conveying his impatience quite well, “I swear, if you don’t get to the point, I’m going to kick you in the head.”_ _

__“All I’m saying is that it was foolish of us to think that we could pretend that our relationship hasn’t changed. Because it has. Irrevocably.”_ _

__Ray sighed heavily. “You said something about two choices.”_ _

__“Yes. Either we face up to the consequences of our new relationship and deal with it in a responsible manner or we end it.”_ _

__Ray got a look on his face like he smelled cabbage cooking. “You know what, Fraser?” Ray hissed. “You have the worst ideas _ever_.” With one last glare, he strode out of the kitchen._ _

__The prudent thing would be to remain in the kitchen. The wise thing would be to let Ray go. But as it happened, Fraser was not in a wise and prudent frame of mind._ _

__Ray was halfway to the front door when Fraser stepped into the entry hall. “Am I mistaken or are you trying to blame me for this mess?” Fraser shouted at him, all the strain and exhaustion of the past three months rushing to the surface._ _

__Ray whirled around and advanced on him with intent in his eyes. “You started it! You kissed me.”_ _

__“Oh, for God’s sake, not that again.”_ _

__“You did kiss me.”_ _

__“And you kissed me back. Quite thoroughly, I might add.” He could smell Ray, his hair gel, his skin. Fraser knew what Ray’s skin tasted like. Sometimes, he still couldn’t believe that he had that knowledge. Had that knowledge. “I want to do it again, Ray,” Fraser confessed hotly. “I really want to.”_ _

__Ray was watching him with a vaguely stunned expression. “Fraser, we are so screwed.”_ _

__Fraser nodded, and the need to touch Ray overwhelmed him. He reached out to place his palm against Ray’s face. “I know,” he whispered. “But I still want to kiss you.”_ _

__“Jesus,” Ray panted, stepping closer, sliding one hand up Fraser’s side. The blue of his eyes were nearly completely covered by the black of his pupils. “You said you didn’t want this,” Ray said hoarsely._ _

__Fraser shook his head, his throat feeling too tight to speak for a moment. “I’ll always want this,” Fraser admitted, leaning forward and nuzzling Ray’s neck, “I’ll always want you.”_ _

__Ray moved before Fraser took another breath, grabbing the front of Fraser’s henley and slamming him hard against the wall. Fraser was sure he was about to be punched when Ray’s mouth came down on his. They kissed harshly, hungrily, with no control, no restraint. Ray still had a death grip on his shirt, as if he thought Fraser might try and get away. Ray had him pinned to the wall with his body and Fraser was more than happy with that position._ _

__Fraser squirmed against the wall and got one hand between them. He gave Ray’s cock a squeeze and Ray sucked in his breath. Ray didn’t stop kissing him, moaning and thrusting against Fraser’s hand._ _

__“Fraser,” Ray muttered against Fraser’s damp neck, leaning into Fraser’s touch, “oh, fuck, Fraser, this is so damn good.” Ray licked a stripe up his neck and when his teeth closed lightly on his shoulder, Fraser made a sound that was somewhere between pain and the most intense pleasure he had ever known. Ray kept doing it, and Fraser couldn’t keep quiet._ _

__“Yeah, that’s it, keep doing that,” Ray growled, pressing hot kisses against Fraser’s face. “God, I love the sounds you make when you’re turned on, it’s so fucking hot. I could come just from listening to you.”_ _

__Fraser dropped his head on Ray’s shoulder as he went to work on the button and zipper on Ray’s jeans. Ray’s hands on his skin, Ray’s breath in his ear, and Ray’s body in his arms. Ray was right. This was so good. Ray knew everything. Ray was perfect._ _

__Just a little shimmy of Ray’s hips and his jeans fell down to his knees. Fraser’s hand slipped into Ray’s boxers and closed around his cock, pulling a desperate, dirty moan from Ray’s chest. The tip of his cock was already very wet and Fraser swirled his thumb over it, spreading the sticky pre-come over his silky, hot skin. He moved his hand over his hard length, slow and steady. Fraser wanted to do this all night. He didn’t want to stop._ _

__He was so intent on Ray and evoking more of those noises from him that Fraser was startled when he realized that his jeans were open and Ray’s hand was around Fraser’s own cock. The surge of lust from that touch was so intense that Fraser hissed and grabbed Ray’s hand, holding it still._ _

__“Fraser?”_ _

__Fraser pressed a long and sloppy kiss on Ray’s mouth before he answered. “I want you to come with me,” he said roughly, and wrapped his hand around both Ray’s cock and his own. Ray muttered something Fraser didn’t make out and they pressed their foreheads together, looking down as Fraser’s hand began to move. They were both slick and hot and so very close._ _

__“Talk to me, Ray.” Fraser brushed his mouth against Ray’s, their erections rubbing against each other and against Fraser’s wet, slippery hand. “Say something.”_ _

__“I can’t give this up, Fraser,” Ray murmured, his hands free to ruck up Fraser’s Henley and roam over Fraser’s torso, back and front. “I can’t – give you up. You’re – so. Oh - Fraser, I’m – I’m gonna…” Ray groaned once more and came with a violent shudder, both arms wrapped tight around Fraser, like a lifeline in thrashing waters._ _

__“Ray, Ray.” His name just came out of Fraser’s mouth without intent or purpose. His hand whipped rapidly along his cock and after just a few more strokes, Fraser was jerking and pushing against Ray. Afterward, they leaned weakly against each other and the wall, holding onto each other, with only the sound of their own breathing in their ears._ _

__Fraser rubbed his chin against Ray’s forehead. “We should get ourselves cleaned up.”_ _

__“Hmmm,” was Ray’s reply, muffled somewhat as his face was buried in Fraser’s chest. “Come home with me. We can shower there. You can stay over.”_ _

__“I’m afraid there’s a problem with that plan.”_ _

__Ray’s body tensed in Fraser’s arms. “Uh-huh. And what would that be?” Ray asked icily._ _

__“Diefenbaker doesn’t have any clean pajamas.”_ _

__Ray lifted his head off Fraser’s chest and Fraser’s pulse soared to see the bright, teasing grin on his face. “I love it when you’re a smart ass.”_ _

__And Fraser kissed Ray. Just because he could._ _

__Much Later_ _

__Fraser lay on his side, listening to Ray snore softly against his neck. He brushed his lips against Ray’s forehead and gently carded his fingers through Ray’s hair._ _

__Ray made a sound and shifted closer. But there was still smooth skin Fraser hadn’t touched yet and he couldn’t keep his hands still. As Fraser was playing an arpeggio down Ray’s spine, his instrument stirred again._ _

__“Trying to sleep here,” Ray said drowsily against Fraser’s shoulder._ _

__“I’m sorry. Go back to sleep.”_ _

__His eyes still closed, Ray gave Fraser a kiss that mostly missed his mouth and rolled onto his other side. Fraser put one arm around Ray’s waist and pulled him close when Diefenbaker trotted into the room to check on them._ _

__Fraser lifted his head up, just enough to see his companion from over Ray’s shoulder. “Everything is fine now,” he whispered. “But Ray needs his sleep. We’ll see you in the morning.”_ _

__Dief whined._ _

__“Well, later in the morning.” Fraser started to lie down again but Dief just watched him._ _

__“Fine. You told me so. You’re dismissed.” Diefenbaker gave him a smug look and trotted off again._ _

__Fraser lay down again with his face pressed into Ray’s hair. And he slept._ _


End file.
